, , , , , , , ,


Emotional Choice – Transformative Journey

©By Deborah Beasley ACPI CCPF

 Adoption is a trip considered by some to be the journey of a lifetime.  And so it is.  Many travel this road to experience the most fulfilling of human conditions, becoming a parent.  Others set out on this course because we so value what we already have that we are called, or driven, to participate in a movement much greater than ourselves.

Do these words resonate with you?  Have you been thinking about adopting a child into your life? Are you wondering if adoption is the right option for your family?   

Recent Increase in Adoptions

Statistics from recent years show increases in the number of state adoptions from foster care systems across the United States.  Spurred primarily by changes in adoption legislation and state incentives from the Adoption and Safe Families Act in 1997, some states have doubled their number of foster care adoptions in recent years.  These changes mean state adoptions have become easier to obtain, and the wait to finalization comes sooner.

While this is good news for parents who seek to adopt domestically, the numbers of children being adopted still fall far short of the numbers of those waiting.  There is a pressing need of prospective parents willing to consider the adoption option.  Additionally, laws enabling quicker adoptions help find permanent families and placements for children who spend far too many years being shuffled within our inadequate and undermanned foster care systems.

 Emotional Choice

Adoption is a decision not lightly made.  A determination often reached over the course of many years, and for many personal reasons.   No matter what stage of decision you are at; you already know adoption is an emotionally charged choice.  What you do not yet realize is how it will change your life.    Adoption is a transformative journey.

As a former foster parent and an adoptive parent of two, I know you are feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension.  Because of this it is wise to take each step of the journey with care.  These emotions are similar to the feelings you have when nearing the top of the first drop on a roller coaster.  In the thrill of the moment your heart wants to go, but as the car reaches the top and is momentarily suspended before the vertical plunge, your brain starts to question what in the world you are doing here?

To facilitate the agreement of heart and mind, you need information to empower sound decision-making concerning whether adoption through the Child Welfare System is the right choice for you.  You need information which will educate and prepare you for what to expect along the journey.  For example; talk with others who have adopted through the foster care system to increase your insight into the process, and help you better understand the children in its care.

With Eyes Wide Open

Adoption is always about two journeys.   For parents and children it is about traveling on parallel paths.   One path is a journey of joy and gain; the other is one of sadness and loss.   There are children in the system who carry within them unimaginable pain.

Where these paths merge they reveal a lifetime of acknowledging and letting go the pain of loss.  The path is also about learning to trust the comfort and healing of a parent/child relationship.  It is about learning to know and love each other.  

 I cannot tell you it will be easy.  Success and struggle are often closely related.  If the journey tests your courage; will you be ready to endure?

The End Result

That so many thousands of children around the world are available for adoption is a sign of our impoverished humanity.  That so many persons around the world open their hearts and homes each year to embrace a few of these children is a lasting testimony to humanity’s enduring nobility.

Adoption is a loving choice.  It must be an emotional and educated passage into a different way of life.  It is one way to create family. 

Should you decide to adopt, your commitment of love and acceptance to a child who needs you will be a revelation of what it means to have someone care for them without conditions. You will be the healing presence they need to become the children they want to be in the childhood they deserve to have.  More importantly, you will be to a child the promise of wholeness, the hope of belonging, and the fulfillment of family.


Tell me if you have made the commitment to adopt? Have you recently had a child placed with you?  I invite you to share your story of joy and gain; of sadness or loss.  If you are an adoptee, please consider sharing your experience so others will understand your journey from your perspectives?  Your story could help many.  Thank you!

©By Deborah Beasley  All rights reserved.


If you are interested in more information about adopting a child from the Child Welfare System in your state, Deborah’s Ebook will supply you with the answers and information you need to make a sound decision.  “From Foster Care to Adoption Navigating the Emotional Journey, A Parent’s Guide to State Adoption” is available now for $14.95!  Pay securely through PayPal from Deborah’s main website:  www.TogetherAtLastFamily.com.  Click Foster Care EBook.  The original price was $27.95, now is $14.95.  Click the paypal button and download this Ebook at the sale price! 

Filled with inspirational quotes, excerpts from Deborah’s own adoption journey, and candid illustrations from real life, this book calms the gnawing fears and doubts prospective parents experience on the way to adopting from foster care.  It’s what you need to proceed!