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GOOD STUFF IN – GOOD STUFF OUT!
(c) 2010 By Deborah Beasley ACPI CCPF
Healthy children need healthy things from their parents. Just as the ol’ saying goes: Good stuff in – Good stuff out; and, well…you know the rest. What is this ‘good stuff’ you ask? Here are a few hints.
It is something all children look for naturally
It comes in several forms
Used incorrectly it can strip a child’s power from him
Used according to directions it can send her soaring to new heights
The best caregivers do it with creativity and gusto
And children drink it in like chocolate milk!
Ready, set, here it is!
GOOD STUFF #1 – THE WORDS PARENTS SPEAK
The words parents choose to speak to and about their children have great power over a child’s young mind and heart. As parents we want to teach our children to speak well of themselves and others. We want our children to learn respect. They will be able to do this when they experience their parent or caregiver speaking well of and to them. Remember: Children learn by hearing.
GOOD STUFF #2 – THE THOUGHTS PARENTS THINK
The quality of thoughts a parent may think about their child will influence the quality of connection and response the parent receives from their child. When the parent is in the habit of thinking negatively concerning their child this creates negative reciprocal emotions between parent and child. Both parent and child become locked in a repeating and self-propagating loop of negative interactions. In this case the child feels the negative space between him and his parent. It is not a place of love or support, and he knows it! As a parent then, you get what you give.
Effective and loving parents will support their growing child through positive internal thought. Parents Beware! It can be contagious! Positive thoughts about your child will become evident to him in the way in which he is treated. He will feel your love and care and become more willing to spend time with you and communicate. Yes, even teenagers! It is the confident and connected child who responds in kind to the parent whose positive thoughts empower and enrich his self-worth. Remember: Children learn through feeling.
GOOD STUFF #3 – THE LOOKS PARENTS GIVE
A parents ‘look’ in the direction of a child often depends upon the child’s current attitude and behavior. Consider that your child is new to life. Each experience and blunder is hers to make and learn from. Isn’t that how we all grew to be so wize? Soften your looks toward your child when they are less than perfect. Remember: Children learn through watching.
GOOD STUFF #4 – THE ACTIONS PARENTS TAKE
Dear Parent. How we live, work, play, think, speak, listen, understand, direct, choose, influence, interact, love, and guide ourselves, others, and most importantly, our children, is within their astute observations. They see it all and ponder it carefully. Soon, they too, live, work, play, think, speak, listen, understand, direct, choose, influence, interact, love and guide themselves in exactly the manner in which they have been taught. Remember: Children learn through modeling.
Healthy children need healthy things from their parents. Continue stepping up to the plate parents! Your children are learning!
Deborah Beasley ACPI CCPF is a Certified Coach serving Families throughout Gloucester County, New Jersey, Delaware County and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Deborah is an author, presenter, and regular contributor to The Women of Gloucester County online magazine. She works with biological, adoptive and special needs parents via phone coaching and in-home services. She specializes in helping families repair relationships, manage stress, and implement successful solutions to raising children with behavioral disorders. Deborah is the owner of Together At Last Family Support and is now accepting registrations to her local Fall Parent Enrichment Courses. For specific course information contact Deborah at: www.HowDoesYourChildGrow.wordpress.com and click on the Events Calendar page. Or Call Deborah at: 609-970-1100. You are not alone, help is as close at your phone!